Creation

Did I create you, my pain?
Although you live with me
And I grew to believe in you
More than I believed in myself

I try to push you away
And love you at the same time
Deciding I need to go through you
And meeting an impenetrable wall

So I step back, sit down and look at this wall
Is it the stuff of ego?
Defining me in a way
I’m willing to die to protect?

Did I create you, my ego?
They say I did
That I made you strong, to keep me alive
But what purpose have you now?

Did I create you, my victimhood?
To tell myself that I’m not at fault
To make sense of something
That has none?

Or is all this a mythology
I grasp onto to lead me to what I seek?
When I don’t know what that is
When I fear I do know what that is

Did I create you, my fear?
There’s that shiver down my spine
It’s you I want to hide from
It’s you that drives the pain
It’s you that builds the wall
It’s you enmeshed with the ego

So how do I let this all go
When I hold on so tight?
Perhaps if I sit with you, my fear
And we look at each other
Look at the wall
Look inside
Together

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This entry was posted in Life. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Creation

  1. Donna says:

    Wow. So powerful, Jon. Thank you for sharing this. Sending warm thoughts. namaste

  2. evergreeneden says:

    Your poetry is absolutely beautiful. You have a clarity and stunning depth that make your sound unique, very well done. Found you through Insight Timer app when we meditated at the same time. 🙂 Namaste!

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