You are falling apart, and then holding it all together. Then falling apart, then holding it all together again. Love is being born within you, cleansing you from the inside, showing you how whole you really are. It is revealing the essence of what you are beyond that which comes and goes. It is showing you that you could never truly fall apart, because you were never together to begin with. You are beyond all that.
If you remain too identified with the falling apart, you disintegrate; you lose contact with the radiance within you, and you become misattuned to the unfolding of your somatic experience, which is the movement of pure wisdom. You forget how intelligent and how creative it is inside you, and that you are never, ever in need of fixing. You forget that the darkness, when provided sanctuary, is brighter than a thousand suns inside your heart.
But if you remain too identified with holding it all together, you disconnect from your vulnerability, from your untamed aliveness and spontaneity, and you turn from the wild reality that your heart could break at any moment. You forget that it is through your brokenness that your gifts pour into this world. You forget that each and every crack in your heart is an illumined portal through which the poetry of your life will flow.
Right in the middle of falling apart and holding it together is the secret place, is the luminous middle path. Stay there. For it is there where the light and the dark are in union, and where the beloved is waiting to play with your preciousness.